Wednesday, October 24, 2012

Why Isn't Everything Alright?


I want to talk about something which for me is one of the ultimate practical questions to ask in this life:

  Why hasn’t man done all he can to reduce and prevent suffering?  Just take a moment to think about that.  Why is it when there’s plenty of food, we allow some people to starve, even destroy food resources to keep prices up?  Why isn’t it that when a child is born into this world, we don’t give her the best chance at health and happiness?  Why isn’t it just so organized that as soon as your born there’s a plan and contingency plans laid out for you to support you growing up and going to work and to help you support others, in other words, why haven’t we all gotten together and figured out how to reduce suffering and increase happiness?

I’ll tell you three of the main reasons, then I’ll tell you how it relates to you and your happiness.  Three of the main reasons are 1.  Hate,  2.  Division.  3.  Incompetence.  It’s really the same thing, hate and division.  In scientific terms it’s called tribalism.  My tribe against your tribe.  And humans will do anything to divide into tribes even to the point of dividing according to sports teams and performing acts of violence in the name of your team.  If you get a chance, look up hooliganism http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Football_hooliganism

But let’s take it deeper than that.  Why has man not done all he can to ensure the health and happiness of all who enter this world?  Maybe your life has been such a series of struggles that you can hardly comprehend what’s the use.  Maybe you suffer from depression, anxiety, and a host of other mood disorders.  Why is it when you go for treatment you’re treated like a pariah, like you’re the only one they’ve seen with this issue?  It’s a problem all over the world.  And it’s everyone’s problem.  Why hasn’t the science of drug and therapy treatment advanced far further than it has.  The answer is profit motive put simply but we’ll get to that.  If the answer to why we haven’t wiped this out is hate, how is it this hate is allowed operate?

The root cause of this hate and tribalism is our animal instincts.  Many types of animals will divide into groups and attack each other.  There’s status and hierarchy, rich and poor among lower animals.  Gorilla groups have been known to carry out full scale war against other groups and to cannibalize the enemy even though they are mostly vegetarian.  So it’s a mentality passed down from animals but which mentalities exactly.

1.  Number one is the mentality that I have to belong to a group opposed to other groups for protection and acceptance, aka tribalism.  Why cannot human beings move beyond this?  We can see that the only thing we need protection from is other groups of humans who have banded together in opposition to us.  If we would all stop forming groups opposed to each other and based on some petty philosophy that is little different from one another, then we can stop attacking each other.  Why do we need countries, religious identity, and political philosophies to divide us just so we can protect ourselves from each other?  Why do we need this violence, think about that.

2.  The second mentality is another passed down from the animal, it’s basically called jealousy, if someone else has something, then I can’t have it.  For early man in times of scarcity, if someone else was eating the food you needed to survive, you may very well hate and attack that person or group because otherwise you’re dead.  But in todays world, is there really not enough food to go around?  Surely there is, especially if we work together.  So let’s do away with those mentalities, that we have to belong to a group for protection because what it causes is the opposite of protection, violence.  Look at street gangs.  Youth most often say they joined a gang for protection, but if they would stop joining gangs, they wouldn’t need protection.  And the idea that if someone else has something, then there’s none for me.  In the US people go so far as to be jealous of impoverished people who get food stamps to pay for food.  I guess they would rather have them starving and begging in the streets.  Just because impoverished people can afford a little food with government assistance doesn’t mean you now have less food.  There’s plenty of food here.  So let’s dispel that myth.

The same thing believe it or not happens with pain relief.  People are actually jealous to see other people getting effective pain relief and heaven forbid people actually get a boost in happiness from a drug or treatment.  When did it become evil to feel good?  We’re not talking about drug addiction here, it’s a myth that drug addiction and getting a good feeling from a drug are the same thing and I’ll explain later how that came about, but simply put, it’s profit motive.

3.  The third mentality I want to talk about is the idea that you and I have no responsibility for what’s going on in the world.  If you drive a car, don’t be surprised if we end up in the Middle East fighting for oil.  It’s  as simple as that.  We make up the world, the human society.  We are the world.  Without us, it’s just animals and plants, we’re not talking about that, we’re talking about human society.  Our consciousness and the things we care about and focus on, that’s what the world is.  It’s up to us to use our genius and our ingenuity to decrease suffering and promote happiness for everyone who comes into this world.  One of the hardest things to understand growing up is that not everything is organized and orderly for human flourishing, in fact, most things are not.  And it’s because we haven’t provided order in the world because we’re too busy trying to smite each other or waiting for some supernatural being to come and make everything right by wiping out our enemies.  That shows incompetence.  We are incompetent individually and as a group.

Individually, even though we know some things we can do to make the world better like reducing our gas and energy consumption, reducing our consumption of meat, not buying the products of suffering, we are unable to stop.  We simply don’t quite know how to, it’s become our habit.  That flows directly into making us incompetent as a group.  We can’t act competently as a group because the individual parts of that group can’t act competently.  We look to government to help us and that’s just as well because we are part of the government, but we have to realize the government is us, it’s not something outside of us so for real change, we can’t just think we can tell other people to do it.  We have to become involved ourselves in living what we know to be a moral life.

Here’s how that relates to you and your personal happiness.  First, when you divide yourself from others, you must spend all of your energy rejecting others and will find yourself quite drained and may even find yourself imprisoned in your home unable to venture out into the company of others.  What if you stopped dividing yourself from others, by class, by religion, by nationality and considered yourself part of the whole of human experience.  Take a bird’s eye view, look down on your little neighborhood or city, and look at the tiny dot that is you surrounded by all the other tiny dots that are everyone else.  That little single ant that is you is gonna have one heck of a time rejecting all those other ants.  If you suffer from severe anxiety or social anxiety, it may require meds and therapy to learn to embrace others, but be able to see into this process.

Secondly, you want to have purpose and meaning in life, aka you want to live a moral life.  How you do that is according to your circumstances in life.  But when you are able to identify areas where you can help to reduce suffering and promote happiness, you become part of the whole of humanity because you’re now helping and everyone can use some help sometime.  You are no longer separating.  And you are able to see how your suffering and happiness is intimately related to that of others.
 
So to sum up, Why have humans not produced the order to ensure the best chance of health and happiness for all, simple answer, hate, division, and incompetence.

What can you do?  Stop dividing yourself from others by race, religions, and politics.  Don’t give into animal instincts of jealousy and tribalism.

And most of all figure out where you can help reduce suffering and promote happiness, even if that means starting with yourself.  Find out what you can do individually and as part of the group. 

Thanks for reading, my name is Daryl Seldon, you can check me out at dysautobotdiary.blogspot.com or bpainfreetherapy.hubpages.com

Have a nice day and Get Better Sooner.

Monday, October 15, 2012

List of BPainFree Hubpages Articles




















How to Use Dextromethorphan for POTS and Chronic Pain, revised     









Primary Causes of POTS and Strategies to Reverse Them   









A Theory of Ehlers-Danlos as a Genetic Advantage in Ancestral Environments Contributing to Advanced Civilization   









POTS and Excitotoxicity   









In the Beginning of Psychology, There Were the Fainters   









Is It All In the Head?   









Ways to Strengthen Collagen In Ehlers-Danlos   









Step 1 Enter If You Can, Therapeutic Awareness     









Our POTS, EDS, Chronic Pain Memory, and Self   









Transcranial Magnetic Stimulation Therapy   









Ways to Live Longer, Better   









Therapeutic Thinking: How-to, Revised   









Pain and and It's Relation to Our Thinking Style   









A Poem for EDS: The Ruined Garden   









10 Reliefs of Living Therapy, revised   

Cycling


What would you do if you were instantly cured of your dysautonomia?  One of my answers is, I would ride a bike, everywhere.  I’d damn near stop driving altogether.  It’s always been one of my goals.

I remember learning to ride a bike when I was a kid, it required a lot of faith.  My big sister put me on the bike and pushed me and said pedal, so I did.  It was not lost on me that I would soon crash but it worked out in the end.  Learning to do anything is mostly like that.  You just do it and you’re horrible at it until finally, you stop sucking at it.

For quite a while I sucked at being ill, meaning I ate a terrible diet and drank lots of beer and as a result, spent most of the day lying in the bed in pain. I stayed in my room and closed the door, paid my half of the rent; I mean I was conscious of not putting my problems off on other people.  It just seemed to my family like I had become an agoraphobic, which is a respected position in my family since in any generation, a few on my mom’s side are stricken with an inability to venture out into the world.  It becomes a mysterious and spiritual position.  I’ve heard that also happens in Jewish families, the mentally ill are sometimes seen as having a special connection to god or to spiritual things.  It’s a sensitivity they have, we have, that does in fact, in many cases, lead to an expanded spiritual sense.

Maybe that lead me out of my torpor.  I always had the sense that I needed to be moving forward, even if I could barely venture out of bed, so I hit the computer and the phones.  Since I couldn’t work, I decided to help other people find work.  I helped land my brother and a friend good jobs through some connections I had made online and that kinda catapulted me out of the worst of my being disabled, seeing that even at my worst, I could still accomplish something.  One of the things I discovered that I absolutely had lost the ability to do was ride an upright bike.

My initial solution was to buy a recumbent trike off Craigslist and ride it.  It was an amazing solution.  You have far more leg power, strength, and endurance sitting down reclined on a bike than you do sitting up.  I could have ridden that thing across the city without breaking a sweat whereas on a normal bike, I’m having severe chest pain in just seconds.  The recumbent trike I bought was made for the beginner, so it only cost me $50 but the tires were tiny so I replaced then with normal sized bike tires and created a nice hybrid that rode smoothly, to my surprise.  It was also easy to put in my van and take out: all in all just a hell of a lot of fun.  Poor Betsy has been lost to time now.  I left her over an ex’s house and she fell victim to that woman’s need to purge any sore reminders of love lost.

This week I went looking for a replacement and recumbent trikes are not cheap, even used they will cost between $200 to $2,000.  I don’t have the money these days and it surprises me that I once did.  So, I’ve decided I’m going to attempt to ride an upright bike.  My health has gotten much better due to diet and having found a good doctor.  I have almost no chest pain now and little orthostatic intolerance.  It might be time for me to venture out from home, not be the family agoraphobic.  A regular bike need cost no more than $200 and there’s lots to choose from, it’s totally not like trying to buy a recumbent trike which is difficult and expensive.  There are many many great reasons to ride a bike, and only a few drawbacks but we’ll discuss those later.  Now it’s time for me to browse my options and find the bike that is right for me.  Happy Friday yall.
--DF Seldon

Wednesday, October 10, 2012

Dream Woman


Dream Woman
by DF Seldon

Your skin against my skin,
Is the wind of a golden plain--
In a dream I'll have tonite,
Caressing hands of grain.

The night falls, the moon rises,
Your eyes are the fireflies,
Tracing hypnotic circles--
In these scary dreams of mine.

Suddenly floating uncontrolled--
In deepest empty space.
Your smile is a supernova
That heals or kills with deadly rays.

I know my heart can break,
As through a frozen world I make--
My way through an icy dreamland,
Not wanting to ever wake.

Tuesday, October 9, 2012

Blog your way to happiness and improve your coping

I’m currently as I am always working on ways to be happier and help others become more fulfilled people.  I’m currently working with two books, Sonja Lyubomirsky’s The How of Happiness and The Happiness Trap by Russ Harris.  The suggestions based on practice and research I will summarize here, with an emphasis on my own situation but hopefully also useful for others.  I therefore will not include everything that may be helpful, but rather the things that I find most helpful.

Step 1:  Incorporate happiness interventions into your life.  

 These interventions are proven to raise mood and happiness scores.  I have created a chart of the interventions I find helpful and how to implement them into one’s personal blog writing.  One reason I do it this way is because I have two personal blogs, one called DysautoBot Diary dysautobotdiary.blogspot.com and the other in the works.  It will be a work of fiction based on a conception of my best possible self, which is one of the interventions listed in my chart.  Take a look at the chart and see if it may be useful for you to make your own chart.  The idea is simple:  to take happiness interventions and use them in your blog.  The hope is that people who are sick, or bed bound, and can’t do a lot in the world can become happier through writing.  So I combine elements of writing therapy, happiness research, and narrative therapy.  But it’s all for fun so do enjoy.

If you write in your blog everyday and need to find a subject matter, take one of the interventions and do your writing based on it.  If you don’t understand the chart or need more information, page numbers to the explanations in the two books mentioned are provided.

I am also going to use ACT therapy, Acceptance and Commitment therapy as one of the interventions.  I am not an advocate of ACT therapy, I don’t know how appropriate it is, but I’m giving it a try because it combines a lot of things which I believe to be helpful.

Here’s the chart.  Try your own chart.  Copy paste mine then delete my interventions and put your own, or use mine.  You might also want to get the books if you would like to take a similar journey as I.

How to Incorporate Happiness Interventions into your Personal Blog
Based on Sonja Lyubomirsky’s The How of Happiness and The Happiness Trap by Russ Harris


Happiness Activities
Intervention
Refer to
1.  Expressing Gratitude
Gratitude Journal within personal blog
p.96 HH
2.  Cultivating Optimism
Best possible self diary in blog
p.108 HH
3.  Practice acts of kindness
Motivational writing or to provide comfort
p. 132 HH
4.  Nurture relationships
Write letters, poems, to loved ones
p. 147 HH
5.  Develop coping
ACT therapy
  THT
6.  Increasing flow
Add motivational speaking videos to blog
p. 186
7.  Savor life’s joys
Add pictures of pleasing events
p.200 HH
8.  Committing to goals
Post goals and progress
p. 215 HH
9.  Meditation/Spirituality
Research, post on techniques
p. 240 HH
10.  Exercise
Record goals and progress
p. 244 HH












Step 2.  Know your values and pursue your goals.
From The Happiness Trap  p. 183  I’ve filled out my own personal chart but left this one blank so you can put your own goals into it.  Copy paste it into word and fill it out for yourself.
Goal Type
Long term
Intermediate
Short term
To Do
1.  Family




2.  Romance




3.  Friendships




4.  Employment




5.  Education




6.  Leisure




7.  Spirituality




8.  Community




9.  Environment




10.  Health




11.  Material








Step Three:  Have a coping strategy

How To do ACT Therapy

A.  Know the happiness MYTHS – NOT TRUE ASSUMPTIONS
  1.  Happiness is the natural state of human beings (THT p.9) – Vigilance and variable mood associated with survival is the natural state.
  2. If you’re not happy, you’re defective (THT p. 10) – Natural thinking processes will lead to psychological suffering.
  3. To create a better life,  we must get rid of negative feelings (THT p.10) – It is natural to have negative feelings.
  4. You should be able to control what you feel and think (THT p. 11) – In reality, you have much less control over your thinking than you would think, much of it is automatic.

B.  Six Core Principles

  1.  Defusion.  Realize thoughts are just often automatic depressive stories from a mind built to survive a dangerous environment.  Defuse from them by saying “I am having the thought that, or I am having the feeling that I will feel sad if the dog remains ill (for example).  Realize the brain will do what it does but it doesn’t have to affect you.  Put the thoughts in the voice of a cartoon character so that you can hear that they are just thoughts, not reality.
Try thanking your mind as it comes up with threatening stories, simply say, Thank you.
Imagine troublesome images have a musical soundtrack in the background to see that they are only images.
  1. Acceptance.  Make room for and breathe into the bodily sensations that represent pain and see that they are just physical sensations.  Accept and embrace reality.
  2. Connection.  Practice mindfulness in daily life.
  3. The Observing Self.  Learn to observe life without judging.  Practice mindfulness meditation
  4. Values.  Know your values and work toward them regardless of your feelings.
  5. Committed Action.  Take actions toward your values to create a rich and meaningful life.

In general in this therapy, you will practice mindfulness in everyday life, learn that negative thoughts and feelings are not reality by defusing them but allowing them to be, not fighting against them.  You will learn to accept all of life including the negative thoughts and feelings.  Breathe or meditate into negative bodily sensations to expose them as sensations that cannot harm you.  Finally, identify your values and work towards them to create a rich and meaningful life rather than being controlled by your feelings, let them be yet take effective action.

I find this therapy to be acceptable.  You can do it yourself.  I recommend you get the book to help.  This therapy, I will use to help with coping.  It is not a gospel, and it is not necessarily the best therapy ever made, but it is sufficient and a good fit for me personally.  It was recommended by someone in a Facebook group associated with EDS or POTS, conditions that I have.

This focus on coping is not a replacement for those with pain and depression for medication.  I am well medicated and at this time, successfully treated for both pain and depression.  I believe the correct medication is crucial for those with pain and depressive conditions.  This has been a very technical post I know.  It is some organizing that I needed to do for myself, but I hope others will also find it useful.

Have fun, be safe, and get better sooner!
DF Seldon, Dysautobot
BpainFree